Yesterday was the first ultra sound. My baby is 7 weeks 4 days old a little over a centimeter long (about half an inch) and growing. By next week the babies size will have doubled. (I learned that from the book you have in the bathroom. I read it at night. I don't know why I don't tell you that.) We got a chance to see the little heart beating in our babies chest and it was really a sight to see. Wasn't it? I didn't know how I would react, but I guess I am like every other moronic parent in being excited about it. After the miscarriage it was such a relief to know the baby is doing well. For the most part I was just as happy to see you happy. It's been a while since you have been happy because of the money situation that we are in right now. I feel horrible because you should be enjoying this, and you're just really stressed out. I'm sorry we are where we are right now. I wanted to give you the perfect life, and I tried give it to you too soon. It kills me that I am hurting you. I would do anything to make it right. The immensity of the problem just has me paralyzed right now. I will suck it up.
I haven't cried in a long time, so I feel like a jackass for crying as I write this, but I am.
I Love You With All My Heart,
Mike
7 comments:
Had a lump in my throat when i read your post Mike, I think wot your doing is great.
New life is truely a miracle.
You cry all you want, it takes a big man to cry and an even bigger one to admit it.
xx
Thank you for supporting my efforts. I have a feeling she will appreciate this blog and the comments as well. As far as crying goes, I am glad to be able to shed tears again. What goes along with losing that ability I do not wish on anyone.
i still cry now when i look at my ultrsound piccies of my 7 year old. i still cry when i watch the video footage of her kicking inside me. i guess i always will
wow. that really did bring a lump to my throat.
Its odd, I'm only 17, but I do look forward to having a family etc. You sound like a really genuine bloke and I wish you and Lori all the best.
GB.
ps. thanks for your comment.
I am genuinely touched by your writings. What a perfect gift for her: your thoughts. So sad, yet incredibly uplifting. With all sincerity, I wish you both all the best with your new family.
Best wishes
I really understand what you're saying about literally not being able to cry. I'd cried a lot when I was a little and somewhere along the way from other guys telling me guys don't cry I just couldn't do it even when I was sad. Thankfully I had a good cry not too long ago.
Thank You all for your kind comments. I hope all turns out well in the end. Life has a habit of not always having happy endings, but if you change your perspective you can always see the hope amidst the tragedy.
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