A Beautiful Day in October 2000! 

13 weeks 5 days

I spent the whole weekend working at the firestation with the mission of getting some decent ambulance calls under my belt. I finally got the call that really made me think. It was the afternoon sometime and the tones in the firestation went off adult male blah blah blah severe pain lower left quadrant abdomen. We went to the site and to make a long story short as we were working and asking our prep questions he dropped the bomb on us. "I tested positive for hepatitis B and HIV." hearing news like this when someone is putting an IV in his arm was for me a little disconcerting. When it comes right down to it tho we felt fortunate that he actually told us he was HIV positive. We were fully gloved up and everything it was just that it was my first experience with someone who was HIV positive. I immediately thought of you and the baby. The thought scared the hell out of me, but I know that this is what I was made to do. A lot of guys do it and I am sure this will help me get over this subconscious fear of needles. I actually watched him get the IV which was cool. I felt nothing as I disconnected the person from the procedure. Maybe that's the trick.

Recently you told me that your butt bone was hurting and you didn't know why. Matt says that it has something to do with your pelvis expanding??? I am not sure how much of that is bullshit but we can ask the doctor. (or maybe someone reading this knows.) I talked to your belly and told the baby that I can't wait to see him and you cried. :) You're so emotional. Your belly is starting to pooch a bit, and you do look fatter, but I dare not say so. I like a big ass tho, so it's cool. :) LOL You are gonna hit me when you read this in a few months. :) FUN!

13 weeks 1 day

I started taking blood pressures for the EMT class I will be entering and you said the doctor found the babies heartbeat with the stethescope, but I had no such luck finding it. :( Damn. You are starting to show a little pooch of a belly and it makes me smile, becuase you already thought you were fat. I can only imagine how it will be now. :) I just keep telling you nothing has changed. I will maintain this story well into the 9th month. :) Rebeca found out she is having a girl, and you told me you would like to have a girl now because it would be cool to raise 2 girl cousins.

Rebeca is going to name her daughter Cameron Alexis I believe, and we are leaning toward Laney if its a girl. Gavin is still the solid boy name. (I love that name) :) You borrowed the 40,001 baby names book from Rebeca so I am sure you will come up with a new girls name because I don't think you are sold on Laney, or maybe you are doing it because you don't think I am sold on Laney. (It's growing on me.) I was thinking about have more symbolic meaning to the name without naming the kid "he who was born while we were broke as fuck". We shall see.

Thinking of You...

I could see you were upset last night. I think its because of the bills. I don't know what to do to make it better. I wrote you a note and left it on your purse this morning. It's just words, but its all I have to give you right now.

Thinking of you is the reason, my reason, to be.
Thinking of you is a vacation for my mind.
Thinking of you is sunshine on a cloudy day.
Thinking of you is knowing our baby will know,
peace, love, compassion, discipline, and forgiveness,
by thinking of you.

I LOVE YOUR HEART
I'm thinking of you,
Mike

How does one girl embody so much of the right stuff? You amaze me.

IN AWE OF YOU

11 weeks 4 days

All seems to be going well with the baby, but we will know more later today after the appointment. I know you think I forgot, but I didn't. I will suprise you later this morning by calling and asking what time the appointment is. :) You were really tired last night but i'm not going to get too upset about that. You should be getting some energy this week. (or so the book says.)

This weekend I was remembering all those days in college when you worked at Genoa Pizza and I would deliver pizzas just so I could be with you. It was like 120 degrees in the summers by those ovens, and it totally sucked. They closed down yesterday, and I can't help but feel sad. We had alot of good times there during college. Remember when you cut through the orange and your hand and you needed stitches? :) Yeah. Good times. LOL Now I'm all paranoid when you use a knife even tho thats like 6 years ago. I'm such a loser. :)

MY LOVE MY LIFE

Ultrasound from 8/4

This is the Ultrasound

11 weeks

It just hit me today that its 11 weeks and all looks good. One more week and we should have the all clear. I'm actually quite excited that we can see a light in the darkness. You have an appointment on Monday with the doc but you said I don't need to be there because it's just routine.

I had a blast last night playing HALO. You're so cute when you spin in circles and get caught on stuff and die. Tonight maybe we can play some Double Dash after my class. (If you're not too tired.) Have I ever told you how much I appreciate you? How did I get so lucky? Where do you hide your halo and wings? Ok thats enough Lovey stupid talk. :D

Which reminds me, Mike and Jennys wedding this weekend was like a highschool reunion eh? Everyone was there, and they were all very nice. (shocker) PJ looked much better than he did in HS and he seemed to be happy when I told him that. To think most of them are in their early 30's now. yeesh how did we get so old? :) Can you believe I'm going to be 30 next year. *shudder* *cry* Seriously tho I'm not too worried about it. I'll just lie about my age from now on. Easy Fix. :)

My Lovely Wife Lori

For those of you requesting pictures. Here is one of my lovely wife Lori.

10 weeks 5 days

We are so stealthy! We have decided only to tell immediate family about the pregnancy, and so far we have done pretty well. :) I am so terrible and not telling everyone I meet that you are pregnant. We spent Monday at Dawn and Jasons eating and playing games and I almost said you were pregnant like ten times. You were tired at like 7:30pm so I made sure we got home, but like usual you stayed up till 11 watching TV despite my urging you to go to bed. :( You need sleep!

Yesterday my mom hugged you and told you "its gonna work out this time honey, you'll see." and I wanted to cry. I'm not sure why it affected me so much. I guess it's because it's my mom and I know how much she loves you. It is such a miracle that she had six kids and never miscarried.

CIAO BELLA!

10 weeks

You scared me yesterday. You said you didn't feel good and my heart stopped. You looked at me with worry in your face and i wanted to cry, but then you told me you think you are getting a cold...DON'T DO THAT TO ME! I was so relieved I had no sympathy for your cold. :) Sorry about that.

Before bed we were chatting and you reminded me of when I tried to do the Axle this weekend. You were laughing so hard you couldn't even tell me what you were laughing about. Finally you told me about the hotel hallway and how I fell on my ass when I tried to do an axle. Damn your tricky skating moves! :) It was pretty funny. Like the time I tried to do the backflip off the wall at the theatre after watching Batman and penis planted in the grass. Ouch that toe still hurts sometimes. I'm a dumb ass. :)

WHO LOVES YOU BABY?!