26 Weeks 6 days

Holy Crap! We don't even have a kid yet and we have half a room full of shit for him. We spent the entire day yesterday cleaning out the computer room and moving crap around our bedroom to make room for the ever growing number of nicknacks. LOL It still feels like we didn't do anything. Yikes! I can't even imagine what is going to happen once we have the baby shower.

On another note we are one day removed from the beginning of the third trimester! *cue the music* This is gonna fly by! :)

On the financial front I told the creditors if they would like to force me into bankruptcy they can continue to arbitration, or they can take what I am offering which is nothing for now.

26 weeks 1 day

Christmas is coming up in a couple and I am not sure if I should get you something from me for the baby. I got you all your regular gifts, which you are gonna love, but I am struggling with this one. Anybody got any ideas? Should I buy her something for the baby? I would like to its all soooooo cute. :)

25 weeks 5 days

Something is different about us lately. I don't know what happened? You have warmed up alot. I am shocked. I don't know what to make of it, but I am excited. :) I think I know what helped you turn the corner, but I can't be positive. You are the only woman in the world worth marrying, without you there are no other options.

I Adore you,
Mike

***NEWS FLASH*** This morning at about 6am my brother in law Jason sent me a text message that my sister Rebeca went into labor this morning. We should have a new little girl in the family soon enough. :) hehehe Gave you the butterflies in your belly didn't it? :)

Ok as I was typing this I got the call. It's a girl Savanna 6 lbs. 12 ozs. 19in.

25 weeks

I don't know if I ever told you, but you really crack me up. Last night when we went to the pizza party for your synchro team I had a really good time. I am always impressed by how you are professional and approachable at the same time. All the girls on the team love you and so do the parents. I don't know how to tell you how proud I am of you. When we first started dating you were still taking lessons and you were so shy...err reserved. :) It's crazy how far we've come since our teens. I know our son is gonna be lucky to have a mom like you, because I am proud to be your husband. I love you with all my heart.

Te Adoro,
Mike

P.S. I am giggling so much right now. I wonder if you are suspicious of me. You keep forgetting how far along you are in weeks and I always know right to the day. LOL Little do you know (I hope) that I am writing this. I'm so sneaky. :) It makes me look good to other people tho which is funny, but I keep getting other husbands in trouble. Sorry guys. :)

24 weeks 6 days

When we were dating for a few yaers the question was "when are you getting married?" After 6 years we got engaged and the question was "So whens the date?" We finally tied the knot, and the day of the wedding we were already asked the next big question. "When are you having kids?" followed closely by "So, hows married life treatin ya?" Now that we have a child on the way the inevitable "when are you due?" is flying around, and I am sure the next question is "are you guys gonna have more?"

23 weeks 6 days

The baby is kicking like a mad man now. :) You still refuse to take out your belly ring, which is cracking me up. It has to happen sooner or later, why not sooner than later? :)

The Belly is totally cute, but the sex is gonna suffer I see. Bah! I am getting sick for no good god damn reason and thats starting to annoy me. Right along with working every night at Genoa. Short update, but I have to go home form work now.

23 weeks 1 day

I came to bed last night and put my hand on your belly while you were sleeping and tried to talk to my little boy in there. After about 20 seconds of having my hand on your stomach and thinking about him he kicked me square in the palm. :) He started kicking so much you woke up. :) Sorry bout that. :) But I started talking to him and he calmed down so you could both get some sleep. I giggled silently to myself.

22 weeks 5 days

I know you are notriously difficult to suprise, and I think my cover may be blown, but if this is the case please don't read this. :) It's a suprise. :)

The baby is kicking up a storm, but I am still unable to feel it. Bah! Little brat. :) It's kinda weird. We went shopping on Saturday at the Mall and were looking at things to buy for Christmas. We stopped to look at the baby clothes. We didn't buy anything, but it was cool to imagine our baby in some of the stuff on the rack. :) Weirded me out a bit.

I promise not to go on and on about how smart my kid is until he has sucessfully proven gravity is a wave. My pet peeve is parents making a big god damned deal out of nothing. :)

21 weeks 5 days

We finally registered for shower gifts. :) It was really fun. We didn't really know what to get, but your mom helped a bit with that. I still think the list is prbably a little slim still. :)

The baby is kicking so you can feel him from the outside, but I still can't. :( You were worried because you always feel the kicks low, but you are feeling them on both sides of your stomach so I assume that is good. :) I am not too worried.

For those of you who read this who want to know where the registry is just comment with your email and I will send you the link.

21 weeks 1 day

The anticipation is killing me already. Crap! You are feeling him kick just about every day now and its really exciting. I guess it is alot more real now.

It is making me nuts that you don't believe me when I say you're beautiful. (this is for all women.) If I say you are beautiful and you tell me "no I'm not" or "love is blind" you are telling me that my opinion is meaningless or that I should find someone else who IS beautiful. Don't do that.

I feel like I talk to the baby too much maybe. I don't want you to think it diminishes you in any way. It is quite the opposite actually. I won't get too corny, but he's gonna be ours. Yikes! I hope I don't fuck him up. :(

20 weeks 4 days

We just got our 20 week ultrasound yesterday. And we found out the sex of the baby.

As excited as I am, I can't help but feel apprehensive about the way that is done, but I suppose it is safe...but high frewuency sound waves pummeling my deeveloping baby ake me nervous...or is it irritated?

The baby was moving all around and stuff. :) It was cool. Everytime she tried to take a picture of the top of the babies head it would look straight into the camera. :) Awwweeee. :) We got a few pictures, and we are really excited. I will post some ultrasound pictures in the near future.

In other news I am now an official Fire Fighter and the money situation is looking up. :)

Lori,

I am so proud to be your husband. So much of who I am is a direct result of being with you, and I know you feel insecure sometimes because I get hit on, but the fact is that no other girl could ever measure up. There is no longer a guard at the castle, the dragon has already been slain...by you, and they would forever be in your shadow. I am what they like because of you, and I love you with all my heart.

Te Adoro,
Mike

Did I mention it's a boy? :)

18 weeks 6 days

You said you felt the baby move last night! I was so excited! I can't wait till it's waking me up by pummeling me in the middle of the night. Not! :) Hehehe My dad used to get so mad when that would happen to him. :) Caiden was the cutest damn thing on Halloween in his little Dinosaur costume. :) I can;t wait to dress my kid in cute stuff. :)

18 weeks 2 days

Holy Shit have we been "busy". Not other people busy actual busy. :) Every night I don;t have class I have been working at the Pizza Place to help out Jose including Sat ans Sun and you are picking up the slack on the other couple days. (Because You Kick Ass!) I have one more class after tonight and my state test on Monday and I am an Official Licensed Fire Fighter II. :) We took pictures on monday of your belly. :) Cute. I like to say good bye to both of you in the morning. I hope you don't mind the belly kisses. :) Two weeks before we get to schedule the Ultrasound. Wee! :)

16 weeks 5 days

Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

You are both Beauty and Grace and I am forever grateful. My angel.

16 weeks 2 days

Last night was our 4th Anniversary. Man did I want to show you this site. :) I held strong tho! :)

I went to American Eagle and got you a guys large hooded sweatshirt for the pregnancy so you're not trying to stretch out your little ones. :) I also brought you a 6 pack of sprite and a couple movies. Like when we first started dating. :) You liked it, but not as much as I expected. I want tears of joy damnit! Tears I say! :)

This morning I was having sympathy sadness or something I was crying like a woman because my family hasn't gotten together in a while. . .What the FUCK is that?! So I called my dad and told him we should setup a monthly get together or something where we can all eat dinner and play games or something. :) Maybe I will even assign the entertainment task to someone in particular in the family each go round. Ohhh Fun! :)

16 weeks 1 day

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! 4 years of marriage today. :) Weeee!

Today is also your doctors appointment and we get to find out when you are going to get your next ultrasound. I'm so excited I want to know if its a boy or a girl. :) The baby is around 8 inches long now (roughly the size of a smurf at 3 apples high) and growing. Your belly is alot more prominent now and when I mentioned it, you smiled so you're not too sensitive yet. :) I was talking to Patti when I went to the dentist yesterday and she thinks we are gonna be good parents, somewhat allieviating my fear of fucking up my kid. I guess we are all fucked up in our own special way. Isn't that sweet. Oh yeah! Thanks for coming to my softball game even tho it was really cold out. I like it when you're there. *sheepish grin*

14 weeks 5 days

The baby is like 5 inches or so now and by the end of this week is supposed to be fully formed. I saw a picture of what the feet look like at 13 weeks, and they look like perfect little baby feet! :) Not sure when the untrasound is but I hope they can tell us if its a boy or a girl. That would be so awesome have been reading through that baby name book and it sucks. There are so many stupid names in there I am going nuts. I think instead of 40,001 names we need like 500. I can deal with 500, but by the time you get through 40,001 you will have narrowed it down to what, like 100 names? Bleh!

I know we are not getting a lot of time together, but I will be done Nov 1st with the Academy so that will free of my Saturdays and Tues and Thurs Nights. :) Anyway, I am thinking about you here at work, and I love you with all my heart.

A Beautiful Day in October 2000! 

13 weeks 5 days

I spent the whole weekend working at the firestation with the mission of getting some decent ambulance calls under my belt. I finally got the call that really made me think. It was the afternoon sometime and the tones in the firestation went off adult male blah blah blah severe pain lower left quadrant abdomen. We went to the site and to make a long story short as we were working and asking our prep questions he dropped the bomb on us. "I tested positive for hepatitis B and HIV." hearing news like this when someone is putting an IV in his arm was for me a little disconcerting. When it comes right down to it tho we felt fortunate that he actually told us he was HIV positive. We were fully gloved up and everything it was just that it was my first experience with someone who was HIV positive. I immediately thought of you and the baby. The thought scared the hell out of me, but I know that this is what I was made to do. A lot of guys do it and I am sure this will help me get over this subconscious fear of needles. I actually watched him get the IV which was cool. I felt nothing as I disconnected the person from the procedure. Maybe that's the trick.

Recently you told me that your butt bone was hurting and you didn't know why. Matt says that it has something to do with your pelvis expanding??? I am not sure how much of that is bullshit but we can ask the doctor. (or maybe someone reading this knows.) I talked to your belly and told the baby that I can't wait to see him and you cried. :) You're so emotional. Your belly is starting to pooch a bit, and you do look fatter, but I dare not say so. I like a big ass tho, so it's cool. :) LOL You are gonna hit me when you read this in a few months. :) FUN!

13 weeks 1 day

I started taking blood pressures for the EMT class I will be entering and you said the doctor found the babies heartbeat with the stethescope, but I had no such luck finding it. :( Damn. You are starting to show a little pooch of a belly and it makes me smile, becuase you already thought you were fat. I can only imagine how it will be now. :) I just keep telling you nothing has changed. I will maintain this story well into the 9th month. :) Rebeca found out she is having a girl, and you told me you would like to have a girl now because it would be cool to raise 2 girl cousins.

Rebeca is going to name her daughter Cameron Alexis I believe, and we are leaning toward Laney if its a girl. Gavin is still the solid boy name. (I love that name) :) You borrowed the 40,001 baby names book from Rebeca so I am sure you will come up with a new girls name because I don't think you are sold on Laney, or maybe you are doing it because you don't think I am sold on Laney. (It's growing on me.) I was thinking about have more symbolic meaning to the name without naming the kid "he who was born while we were broke as fuck". We shall see.

Thinking of You...

I could see you were upset last night. I think its because of the bills. I don't know what to do to make it better. I wrote you a note and left it on your purse this morning. It's just words, but its all I have to give you right now.

Thinking of you is the reason, my reason, to be.
Thinking of you is a vacation for my mind.
Thinking of you is sunshine on a cloudy day.
Thinking of you is knowing our baby will know,
peace, love, compassion, discipline, and forgiveness,
by thinking of you.

I LOVE YOUR HEART
I'm thinking of you,
Mike

How does one girl embody so much of the right stuff? You amaze me.

IN AWE OF YOU

11 weeks 4 days

All seems to be going well with the baby, but we will know more later today after the appointment. I know you think I forgot, but I didn't. I will suprise you later this morning by calling and asking what time the appointment is. :) You were really tired last night but i'm not going to get too upset about that. You should be getting some energy this week. (or so the book says.)

This weekend I was remembering all those days in college when you worked at Genoa Pizza and I would deliver pizzas just so I could be with you. It was like 120 degrees in the summers by those ovens, and it totally sucked. They closed down yesterday, and I can't help but feel sad. We had alot of good times there during college. Remember when you cut through the orange and your hand and you needed stitches? :) Yeah. Good times. LOL Now I'm all paranoid when you use a knife even tho thats like 6 years ago. I'm such a loser. :)

MY LOVE MY LIFE

Ultrasound from 8/4

This is the Ultrasound

11 weeks

It just hit me today that its 11 weeks and all looks good. One more week and we should have the all clear. I'm actually quite excited that we can see a light in the darkness. You have an appointment on Monday with the doc but you said I don't need to be there because it's just routine.

I had a blast last night playing HALO. You're so cute when you spin in circles and get caught on stuff and die. Tonight maybe we can play some Double Dash after my class. (If you're not too tired.) Have I ever told you how much I appreciate you? How did I get so lucky? Where do you hide your halo and wings? Ok thats enough Lovey stupid talk. :D

Which reminds me, Mike and Jennys wedding this weekend was like a highschool reunion eh? Everyone was there, and they were all very nice. (shocker) PJ looked much better than he did in HS and he seemed to be happy when I told him that. To think most of them are in their early 30's now. yeesh how did we get so old? :) Can you believe I'm going to be 30 next year. *shudder* *cry* Seriously tho I'm not too worried about it. I'll just lie about my age from now on. Easy Fix. :)

My Lovely Wife Lori

For those of you requesting pictures. Here is one of my lovely wife Lori.

10 weeks 5 days

We are so stealthy! We have decided only to tell immediate family about the pregnancy, and so far we have done pretty well. :) I am so terrible and not telling everyone I meet that you are pregnant. We spent Monday at Dawn and Jasons eating and playing games and I almost said you were pregnant like ten times. You were tired at like 7:30pm so I made sure we got home, but like usual you stayed up till 11 watching TV despite my urging you to go to bed. :( You need sleep!

Yesterday my mom hugged you and told you "its gonna work out this time honey, you'll see." and I wanted to cry. I'm not sure why it affected me so much. I guess it's because it's my mom and I know how much she loves you. It is such a miracle that she had six kids and never miscarried.

CIAO BELLA!

10 weeks

You scared me yesterday. You said you didn't feel good and my heart stopped. You looked at me with worry in your face and i wanted to cry, but then you told me you think you are getting a cold...DON'T DO THAT TO ME! I was so relieved I had no sympathy for your cold. :) Sorry about that.

Before bed we were chatting and you reminded me of when I tried to do the Axle this weekend. You were laughing so hard you couldn't even tell me what you were laughing about. Finally you told me about the hotel hallway and how I fell on my ass when I tried to do an axle. Damn your tricky skating moves! :) It was pretty funny. Like the time I tried to do the backflip off the wall at the theatre after watching Batman and penis planted in the grass. Ouch that toe still hurts sometimes. I'm a dumb ass. :)

WHO LOVES YOU BABY?!

9 weeks 4 days

I wanted to tell you about this blog this weekend to cheer you up. I knew it would make you happy since our money situation is majorly bringing us down, but it would ruin the point of this whole thing.

All I want is for you to be a happy pregnant woman who has a happy healthy baby, and it kills me that I can't give that to you. I feel a bit helpless right now. Couple helpless with broke and you have depression. (I know you always tell me not to blame myself because we both got into this situation, but you know I never listen when you say that.)

YOU'RE MY HEART
Mike

9 weeks 1 day

We passed a small milestone yesterday. You went to that picnic with your aunts and I fought my first car fire and neither one of us got home till 11:30 at night. We were brushing our teeth when you told me that you weren't cramping like last time, and I was happy to see the relief on your face. I know we're not out of the woods yet, but I was so glad to see some tension drain from your face.

I know it sounds silly, but I was really happy when you actually initiated a snuggle last night. We must have both needed it because we fell asleep immediately, and woke up all sweaty and stuck together. LOL Good Times!

The Doctor said that most miscarriages happen before the 10th week, and it is because there is something wrong with the pregnancy. This is natural and you would not want to carry it to term with something wrong. As painful as that may be I have to agree. So far so good.

I know you are pretty "reserved" when it comes to social situations, but I hope you notice all the great people leaving encouraging words for us in the comments of this blog. (TO: Everyone leaving comments, Thank You for supporting us.)

8 weeks 5 days

I have been thinking about the whole boy or girl "first child" thing, and I have come up with some pros and cons.

In my family we had boy, boy, girl, boy, girl, girl, and in your family it was boy then girl. So I am kind of partial to boy first because they always protected us as the stereotypical big brother should do. My big bro actually had a girl first though, and I like that too because she is so cool and it brings a different dynamic to how they handle problems. You can't just have your big brother beat their face in. Having a girl first gives you the option of a million cute things you can buy, and having a daughter like you is probably the best thing that could happen. We would then be lulled into a false sense of security and BAM the second one would be like me. I shudder to think! (For those of you who aren't my wife reading this. She really is that cool. Her parents got so damn lucky.) I love my little sisters to death, but a little boy I can play ball with would be so kick ass. As long as he isn't the unholy terror I was when I was younger.

Ultimately I just hope the baby is healthy. Please God!
(You just told me last night, Thursday will be the same day we lost the baby last time so I am holding my breath. I think everything is going to be ok tho.)

8 weeks 3 days

The Chinese birth calendar says it gonna be a boy, and I guess its a good thing because we don't have a girls name picked out yet. Gavin and Gabriel are our boys names, but if it's a girl I kinda like Kayleigh thats such a cool name. My buddy Jims wife is named Jensina, and I always thought that was kick ass, but everyone calls her Jenni and that messes it all up. Then I thought of Jesenna, but she'll probably get called Jessi. I guess I will ask you tonight if you have made any progress on the girls name front. It can't be green either since that seems to be the only thing we can agree on.

The baby book says the baby won't be able to hear us for a while yet, but I still like to talk to your tummy. I get all happy, and silly when I do and I feel a little stupid, but you don't seem to mind so I'm gonna keep it up. I guess, somehow I hope the baby can hear my voice and holds on so we can meet in a few months.

For now I hope, and I pray.

I LOVE YOU ANGEL!

7 weeks 6 days

Yesterday was the first ultra sound. My baby is 7 weeks 4 days old a little over a centimeter long (about half an inch) and growing. By next week the babies size will have doubled. (I learned that from the book you have in the bathroom. I read it at night. I don't know why I don't tell you that.) We got a chance to see the little heart beating in our babies chest and it was really a sight to see. Wasn't it? I didn't know how I would react, but I guess I am like every other moronic parent in being excited about it. After the miscarriage it was such a relief to know the baby is doing well. For the most part I was just as happy to see you happy. It's been a while since you have been happy because of the money situation that we are in right now. I feel horrible because you should be enjoying this, and you're just really stressed out. I'm sorry we are where we are right now. I wanted to give you the perfect life, and I tried give it to you too soon. It kills me that I am hurting you. I would do anything to make it right. The immensity of the problem just has me paralyzed right now. I will suck it up.

I haven't cried in a long time, so I feel like a jackass for crying as I write this, but I am.

I Love You With All My Heart,
Mike

Why?

I know I haven't been my super communicating self lately, but please know that this is for you. I am doing this because I am thinking of you and it is a chance to get things off my chest and tell you how I am feeling about our childs upcoming life.